14 Years Later, Women Still Aren't Hearing This

Why everything you’ve been told about fitness over 40 is failing you

After more than a decade working with women, I can confidently say this:

Most women don't lack motivation - they're simply misinformed:

They’re doing the classes.

They’re showing up.

They’re pushing themselves hard.

They’re sticking to the low-calorie meal plan someone handed them, always on a 'diet'.

But they’re still stuck.

It’s not that they’re lazy, undisciplined, or not trying hard enough.

It’s that the entire fitness and diet industries are still selling them a broken model.

It’s time to stop buying into the myths that are keeping us stuck. Too often, women are handed arbitrary advice, poor programming, and low-calorie diets—then told they’re the problem when they don’t see the results they were promised. The truth is, the system is broken, and it's been perpetuated by an industry more focused on making us “smaller” than empowering us to build strong, healthy, capable bodies.

Let’s talk about the myths that just won’t die:

You’ve probably heard these before—maybe even believe them.

• More is better

• Sweat = success

• Pain = progress

• Thin = healthy

• Cardio burns fat, strength is optional

• High reps with low weights is for fat loss

• Lifting weights makes you look 'bulky' or masculine

• HIIT needs to be 45 minutes of non-stop movement

• You have to eat less to see results

• Do Pilates for the 'long toned muscles' look

• Stressing over supplements, autophagy, ice baths, or the “perfect” fasting window—while still under-eating and skipping the one thing that actually moves the needle: progressive strength training.

  
  

"You have Cortisol Belly - Just Reduce Your Stress": Stress matters, but belly fat after 40 isn’t just about cortisol. It’s a mix of hormonal shifts, muscle loss, lifestyle changes, and how you eat and move. Meditation alone won’t fix it—strength, nutrition, and recovery will.

These beliefs are so deeply ingrained that even when we try to challenge them with real science, the message gets filtered through the old lens.

I’ll say, “You need to lift weights.”

They hear, “Oh, so I'll wear a weighted vest.”

I’ll say, “Progression matters.”

They hear, “So I should do harder classes more often, right?”

I’ll say, “We need to fuel your body.”

They hear, “Stick to 1200 calories and push through.”

It’s not their fault—it’s the result of years of confusing, calorie-obsessed, punishment-based messaging from an industry that still doesn’t fully understand the needs of women, especially those over 40.

And let’s clear up some more myths while we’re here…You’ve probably heard that yoga or Pilates is all you need to “tone” or strengthen your bones. While these can improve flexibility, mobility, balance, and core awareness—which are all valuable—they’re not enough on their own to build real muscle mass or meaningfully impact bone density.

That requires progressive overload. That means lifting heavy enough (eventually), moving with purpose, and challenging your body in ways that signal it to adapt.

This isn’t about bashing those practices—they can be beautiful complements. But if you’re relying on them to change your shape or protect your bone health as you age, you’re likely being misled.

What the evidence actually says about training

If you’re in your 40s, 50s or beyond, and you’re trying to improve your body composition, support your bone density, build strength, or simply feel good in your body again, here's what the science backs:

• Heavy resistance training

• High-impact loading (yes, jumping - and not on a rebounder!)

• Short bursts of true high intensity—with proper rest - depending on YOUR level of challenge.

• Progressive overload—structured, not random.

• You don’t need to train to failure or chase a 1-rep max—leaving 1–2 reps in the tank helps you build strength safely, with less risk and better long-term progress.

• Adequate fueling to support training, muscle retention, and metabolism.

But—and this is the part the industry forgets—that doesn’t mean walking into the gym tomorrow and deadlifting your bodyweight, or doing explosive box jumps for 20 minutes, or training hard for an hour every day.

It might take months to work up to heavy barbell lifts with proper instruction. That’s normal. That’s smart. And it absolutely doesn’t mean doing it all while surviving on an arbitrary, unsustainable low-calorie diet that leaves you exhausted, irritable, and wondering why your body won’t respond.

Real progression looks very different

If you’ve been sedentary (a lifestyle with little to no physical activity, often involving long periods of sitting or inactivity), unwell, overwhelmed, or just not seeing results from what you used to do, your next step is not to do more.

It’s to do what’s right for your body right now.

Progression might look like:

• Starting with 2 full-body strength sessions a week, learning as you go to set yourself up for success as you advance.

• Building confidence with dumbbells.

• Improving movement quality before loading.

• Swapping chaos for structure.

• Rebuilding trust with food and fueling your body to adapt and grow.

This is the kind of training that works with your body, not against it. It’s also the kind of training most women have never been shown.

You deserve better than recycled bootcamps and generic advice

Let’s be honest—most group classes and even many personal trainers don't understand progressive, evidence-based programming, especially for women over 40.

If this sounds like your experience, you’re not imagining it:

• You’re told to “keep your heart rate up” or “go heavier” with no regard for your movement quality, recovery, or starting point.

• You’re run through random circuits, told it’s HIIT (even when it’s not), and left sore and exhausted—but made to believe that means it was a good workout.

• You ask for a modification due to pain or discomfort, and instead of assessing what’s actually going on, you're given a random alternative that doesn't help you progress—just a swap to keep you moving, not improving.

• You’re pushed past your limits, yelled at to “keep going” even when your form is collapsing and your body is screaming to stop.

• You’re asked to lift before you’ve learned how to move—deadlifting without a hip hinge, pressing overhead without shoulder mobility.

• You're made to do advanced exercises you haven’t earned yet, putting you at risk of injury instead of helping you build strength safely.

• You're thrown into arbitrary “benchmarks” like the 11 push-up challenge, even when you can’t yet do one or haven't been given the right progressions—because someone decided that’s the standard.

• And when your progress stalls, it’s assumed you’re “not compliant”—not that the plan might be unrealistic, unsustainable, or completely mismatched to your needs.

And hey—if that kind of workout genuinely brings you joy and you’re not focused on long-term progression, go for it, if it actually feels good for you. But if you’ve been working hard with little to show for it, feeling stuck, frustrated, and unsure what to do next—there’s a better way. My tailored coaching is here to support women who want lasting results that actually make sense, and feel good.

The Fitness Industry Is Still Getting It Wrong

When you look around, it’s easy to see why people still believe these myths. Trainers and classes often don’t have the right understanding of how to design a program for women over 40. They’re pushing the same cookie-cutter advice that doesn’t account for individual needs, health conditions, or lifestyle changes. They tell you to do what “everyone else is doing,” even when it’s clearly not working for you.

The quality of personal training certifications has dropped significantly. Nowadays, trainers are pumped out in a few weeks, can submit a photo of a random person doing an exercise and claim they were training them. They no longer need to undertake extensive hours of supervised work or practical gym experience.

The focus needs to shift from quick fixes, “smaller” bodies, and over-simplified routines to long-term, sustainable training that builds strength, energy, and health. It’s time for a more thoughtful, evidence-based approach to fitness—one that is customised for YOU, not a blanket formula that doesn’t work.

And let’s talk about HIIT—everyone’s favourite go-to for fat loss and getting fitter. But real HIIT? It’s short, intense bursts of activity with longer rests in between. It's not a 45-minute sweat session in a class that leaves you exhausted and depleted. Yet, too often, we’re sold the idea that "real" results only come from doing HIIT classes back-to-back.

True progress doesn’t come from doing more random stuff harder.

It comes from:

✔️ Structured progression over time.

✔️ Knowing when to rest—and when to push.

✔️ Programming built for your stage of life, bone health, and goals.

✔️ Fueling adequately to support strength, recovery, and long-term health.

✔️ A long-term strategy—not just a sweaty session.

If you’ve felt like you were doing everything “right” but getting nowhere, there’s a reason.

The industry wasn’t built with you in mind. But my coaching is.

The Myth of 1200–1500 Calories (or less!)

You’re handed a 1200–1500 calorie meal plan by someone who may not even be qualified to give nutrition advice, the classic low-calorie diet mentality. If you’re being told to eat 1200–1500 calories (or even less) a day and calling it “discipline,” I’m sorry to say—it’s not. It’s unsustainable and likely setting you up for failure. For women over 40, cutting calories too much can leave you with not enough energy to support your metabolism, muscles, and bones, let alone give you energy to Thrive.

When they stop getting results, they reduce their calories even further, thinking they’ll see progress. But what happens? They end up feeling more tired, weak, and frustrated because their body doesn’t have the fuel it needs to function properly. When you're underfed, you won’t have the energy to support your workouts, your muscle growth, or your bone health. You’ll feel stuck, sluggish, and drained.

For women who are constantly stuck in diet mode, I can help them to gradually increase their calorie intake so they can achieve a more realistic calorie deficit. This allows you to start losing body fat without starving yourself, all while supporting your metabolism, muscles, and bones. Real results come when you fuel yourself adequately to support your strength, health, and activity.

I know this message gets misunderstood

It’s frustrating, honestly.

I’ve spent years trying to explain that women over 40 don’t need to train harder—they need to train smarter... and still, many women still believe they just need to “do more cardio”, eat less, and “burn more calories" through punishing training.

But I won’t stop saying it.

Because this is too important.

Your body is changing. Your hormones are shifting. Your bone density matters. Your metabolism deserves support—not starvation.

And the old rules no longer apply.

Ready to train with purpose?

If you're tired of doing everything “right” and getting nowhere, it’s time for something different.

✨ Thrive – Your 12-week educational coaching experience for women ready to build strength, support bone health, and fuel their bodies properly.

💪 Tailored Strength and Fitness – fully personalised programming that meets you exactly where you are and takes you where you want to go, designed to suit your exact needs and goals.

And coming soon…🔥 Semi-Private Personal Training in my private Drouin Studio – an exclusive add-on for Thrive or Tailored clients only. Train with me in a small, supportive setting with evidence-based programming and real coaching. → join the Wait List Here.